"You never know a man until you have divorced him."

Zsa Zsa Gabor said this.  But I don't think it's really true.  I think divorce can bring out the best or the worst in someone, depending upon their character.  In my case, I had clear signs of my husband's character before we married.  Three completely independent but equally influential factors, however, prevented me from backing out of the engagement.  They were:

1. Youth.  He was my first boyfriend and I was already (gasp) 21!!!  My mother had immigrated from Europe when she was nearly 17 and had 3 children already by the time she was my age.  I had absolutely zero experience in a relationship, and he was so accommodating, devoted and polite (insert warning bells here).
2. Insecurity.  Because of my unusual (read, ethnic) looks, I was not easily accepted nor much pursued by boys at school.  So when one of the stars of our small department at a large and exclusive university asked me to marry him on our first date (CLANG! CLANG!), I figured if I didn't accept I could end up a spinster at the ripe old age of 25.
3.  Indecision.  I didn't know what I wanted to do as a career when I graduated, but I had been raised to think motherhood was inevitable, desirable and completely fulfilling.  He wasn't sure what he wanted to do either, but with my encouragement and support, he started taking pre-med classes.  This decision seemed like my ticket onto the parenting train.

So, what were the signs?  Besides those alluded to none too subtly above, there were significant issues that arose prior to walking the aisle that made me uneasy.  The most serious of them was his family history, compounded by the fact that he had carefully concealed it from me.  It was only when we were driving from Southern California to Northern California to meet his family and announce our engagement that I was introduced to the sordid stories.  That introduction didn't even come from him - it came from one of his sisters, whom we picked up on the way.  It turned out that a 6 hour drive up the very boring I-5 in an old VW bug provided an irresistible opportunity to open the closet door and bare hidden skeletons.